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The Shorty Interview
with The Fake ESPN
What's your best tweet?
Tim Tebow is now reportedly referring to 4th downs as "Jews" since they are the trickiest for him to convert.
What are six things you could never do without?
LaFondra, Shaneque, Jasmine, Macy, Sharaenae, and Dat Pho our amazing editorial team. (Just happens to be six of them)
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
Not familiar with this "professional" you speak of?
What's your favorite Twitter app?
Hootsuite, Twellow, and Angry Birds.
Twitter or Facebook?
Not familiar with this "facebook" - We will have to get back to you on this one.
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
Anything > Tebow was a great little fling.
What feature should Twitter add?
Twitter should add 25 feet to the top of each NFL goal post. Adam Carolla has been ranting about this, twitter should step up.
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
Barack Obama. His staff has one, but not B-shizzle himself.
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
We inform the Asian children who write for us not to abbreviate anything.
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
We would love to DM Tim Tebow late at night and bait him into theological debates how the Bible defines sex. Yes, Tim Tebow.
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
We unfollowed @RealSkipBayless after we accidentally followed him to begin with. Fat finger.
Why should we vote for you?
Content (and free blowies)
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
Something about Charles Barkley eating hookers because he is so hungry.
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
Seeing John Daly show up as a follower just after we wrote something about him.
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
#FollowFriday - yes, that was us.
How do you make your tweets unique?
We change the spelling by a letter or two after we steal them from favstar. AlaKazaam! Unique.
What inspires you to tweet?
The disease that makes us want to please strangers on the internet.
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
Does a bear poop on the Pope?
140 characters of advice for a new user?
Don't treat twitter like it's an inbox, you will go insane.
How long can you go without a tweet?
Do tweet dreams count against us? We'd say 5 days, but sometimes it just happens while we sleep.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
You should ask us what our real identity is.
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
I imagine investors will need to make a buck at some point, so that will cause a nuclear meltdown.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
The real ESPN. But "funny" is a loaded word.
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
That your followers pay very much attention to you. They really don't. If we leave they're going to move right over to FOX for made up news
Why should people follow you?
The real requirement is to Retweet us, following us makes that a lot easier to do.
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
No. Oh wait, yes.
How do you decide what to tweet?
The leaderboard at favstar.
Why'd you start tweeting?
We are narcissists, thank you so much for asking.
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
Absolutely, especially the attention span part of our li... oh, sorry, what was the question?
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
People don't tweet what they are eating like they used to, we miss the good old days.
How will the world change in the next year?
LeBron will win a ring, and we will have to start working harder for laughs.
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Forgetting how easy the "block user" button is to use.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
Ah, the great Jetsons v Flintstones debate. We choose...Fred.