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The Shorty Interview
with The DM Reporter
What's your best tweet?
Hard to decide a best - certainly from your own work - but I've always liked... "COMPETITION: Are you Britain's prettiest feminist?"
What are six things you could never do without?
Just give us an internet connection and a bottle of water and we're happy.
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
This account has gone from being a funny joke to a serious project, and it's now becoming our professional life.
What's your favorite Twitter app?
Tweetbot. Hands down. Best Twitter app I've ever come across.
Twitter or Facebook?
Twitter. What a silly question.
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
Couldn't possibly recall. Trends pass in the night and it's that disposability that I like the most about them.
What feature should Twitter add?
Twitter doesn't need any new features. It really doesn't. Except, maybe, better spam filters.
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
The world would benefit from Bill Hicks being on Twitter but there's a whole load of biology problems to get past first.
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
We won't sell out punctuation or spelling. We're very strict on that. We're meant to be a newsfeed - shortening just won't do.
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
Would love master satirist Armando Iannucci to follow us, but then we would be crippled by fears that he thinks we suck. Best keep it as is.
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
Lots and lots of people, and to name them would be rude.
Why should we vote for you?
Because we try very hard to create an enjoyable and purposeful feed that works on many different levels.
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
Every term and every trend will have its day.
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
We don't kiss and tell, sorry. We've made some very interesting connections, though.
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
#KickTheCaneAway was a mini-success, urging everyone to inform and report upon their 'disabled' neighbours.
How do you make your tweets unique?
We try not to break the fourth wall - we keep our universe contained and our agenda clear, and we try to be funny and make a point with each.
What inspires you to tweet?
We seem to have a natural ability to make fun of current affairs and those that bring us the news. I'm sure we have a choice anymore.
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
Sometimes, but only if we've been deliberately tweeting too much to make a point.
140 characters of advice for a new user?
Spend your first month just following and see how other people use Twitter. Don't tweet for anyone but yourself. Avoid overt racism.
How long can you go without a tweet?
The length of a trip to the cinema (not including adverts but including end credits).
What question are we not asking here that we should?
Who designed the Chupa Chups logo? (Look it up, you'll be surprised).
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
I imagine Twitter will change by being the only platform to realise it's perfect as it is and that it doesn't need to change.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
Steve Martin's opening tweet was a masterclass in grasping a concept immediately. It was a great tweet.
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
Our followers are the funniest people - they get the joke and they grow and expand it further than we ever could.
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
That it's for telling people what you had for breakfast (statement copyright the Daily Mail, August 2011)
Why should people follow you?
Because we're the last line of defence between them and the insidious rightwing faux-journalism of the Daily Mail.
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
We're an account obsessed with Poe's Law so we have to nominate @GodsWordIsLaw - is it real, is it fake? No-one knows.
How do you decide what to tweet?
We have a drafts folder of about 50 or so headlines ready to go at any one point, and we post topical jokes as and when we think of them.
Why'd you start tweeting?
Because it's an amazing format with which to test ideas, broadcast thoughts, make points and practice skills.
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
Twitter is probably the best form of communication we're using at the moment. How hasn't it changed our lives?
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
I wish people would check the profile of people they're taking info from before believing it as gospel truth. Do some research, people!
How will the world change in the next year?
Billy Joel will write a sequel to We Didn't Start the Fire.
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Including people in negative conversations about them. Saying "@DMReporter sucks" is worse than saying "DMReporter sucks." Why the @?
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
Burning hot with lakes of fire and, in the distance, the anguished screams of the population as they watch another series of the Kardashians.

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