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The Shorty Interview
with Matchstick Molly
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
Abraham Lincoln. "Woke up, had some pancakes. Watching TVLand the rest of the day. #freedtheslaves."
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
#debutantegrandmother
140 characters of advice for a new user?
Don't get one of those terrycloth headbands. That's not a thing.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
What I have in my back pocket.
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
Why should people follow you?
Because I'm playing a pan flute and leading them right to a pit of those foam cubes.
Why'd you start tweeting?
Because all the cool kids were doing it.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
Post pictures of their babies (jk.)
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
Like everyone who predicts the future, I'm almost convinced we'll have flying cars by then. If we don't, it's not ten years from now.

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